The Secret Lives of Church Ladies by Deesha Philyaw
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I chose this book initially because of the title. The Secret Lives of Church Ladies sounds very intriguing! I am a daughter of a deacon and children’s church leader, and I felt super connected to the title from the jump.
I tend to stay away from short stories because I am always left wanting more, but Philyaw does a great job in writing these vignettes that I felt satisfied after every story. This book made me feel like a kid listening to adults when I know I shouldn’t be! Every story gave you an insight into something taboo, especially considering these women were connected with the church somehow. You got the tea, the shade, and everything in between in this book!
The book highlights the fact that although you may be “in the church” the real world still affects you and makes you consider things that are “not of God” for the sake of joy, happiness, love, relationships, and self-discovery. This book also seemed to make a mockery of legalistic religion in a sense, and how having only Jesus may not be enough for some people. People are praying to God for a blessing, but they are still living reckless!
The black girls and women in this story are searching for something… trying to fill a void “that only Jesus can fill” but somehow still cannot be filled by Jesus alone. It really makes you think about your religious ideals and what you accept or don’t accept by church standards. Seeking individuality, love, reassurance, sex, passion, companionship, is something all women look for, but as a church lady, it seems so scandalous to want that when you should be saving yourself for the Lord’s blessing. There is a double standard that is being explained here, but in such a way that the topics are not in your face or confrontational. They are subtly wrapped and presented in such rich prose that you are filled with emotion when you read this book hoping for better, wishing for more, and weeping tears of sadness for the loss felt in these lives of women.
I think about the church ladies I’ve known in my life. Nobody is a saint, and Jesus is good, but he also gave you hormones that overwhelm your system that makes you do things you might not ordinarily do. We all have secrets, and church ladies aren’t any different. At the end of the day we are all human and we all have wants, needs and desires, and we should stop hiding behind the hypocrisy and contradictions that religion allows us to because we all have a cross to bear, as we are all sinners. This book is good! Solid 4.
Thank you to West Virginia University Press and Deesha Philyaw for providing me with this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.
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